flashes....

Waves of emancipation entangled in a string of desires…
I lay here all alone …unscathed and unvented…
Only a few desires breath within my relinquished veins…
My skin is as blue as the midnight chasms of a poets dream…
Never in my life did I desire the abandonment that I am witness to… in these forgotten forests…
Never moving and not even feeling my own breath…
I gaze up at the unending space of the eternal heavens…
Broken flowers surround me…
crushed roses encapsulate the air …
The stars follow a trail to the horizon…
Pearl drops of fatigue and melancholy sweep down my eyes…
I feel the burn of the septic human salt seep down my lips…
I feel alone and dismembered,
I have never felt like this before…
Yet I do not feel the loneliness,,,
lost ………
Reality discongifured…. My vision blurred and unable to recognize my sight,,,
My mind – not justifying the desire to live…
Fragments of my life lay scattered around me….
A few pieces of a dozen shards of broken glass…
My heart beats a final beat….
I cannot breath now..
Vision becomes dimmer…
My veins communicate an eternal peaceful darkness… to my remaining consciousness,,,
I am breathing….
Not to live… but to remember
To recapitulate...
One last final time…
This small inadequate, inconsequential and insane little thing…
That we call life…
Desires flicker out in a matter of moments…
A feeling of letting go encapsulates ….
My hands become numb, numb, and number,,,,
My eyes unable to blink any longer…
All I can see is the vast spasm of the dark melodic and monolithic sky…
Embedded with stars…. Random in arrangement….
The blue diamond studded vision now fades slowly…
I do not blink…
I cannot blink…
It is not my right to blink...
The sound of inevitability calling far off… .
It is time to let go ,…
I know,,, I realize… and I feel….
A tear rolls down my cheeks….
Almost as involuntary as the emotions I couldn’t feel any longer….
Pictures flash before my eyes within the darkning haze that enclosed my fading vision…
My first toy….
A green colored rocket….
Mom’s warmth when in bed….
A moment of serenity by the river ganga…in grandfathers company…
An accident…
The first time I saw ……
.the most special person in my life…
When my heart throbbed and skipped a beat…
When my ink fell dry of words…
as I wrote the three words for the first time…
tears,…
laughter…
a true friend appears and smiles,,,,
mom again,,,, smiling…holding…never letting go,,,
dad,,,..out on a walk between never ending hills of seclusion…
dad …..smiling again while watching a sunset…
the first experience of love…
a destitute… with no clothes to wear….
on a December night….
Finally …
Mom again…….
“Goodnight ...”
Her sweet voice…..
The sheath of darkness grows denser…
The cold becomes deeper and stronger…
The senses become number,,,..
A last tear rolls down my eyes,,,
As my eyes fall into a dry glaze of culmination…
Slowly…
Softly…
Still dreaming…
Still watching the sky flicker out peacefully….
A final smile graces my forgotten face…
And I… let go….